ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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