I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
