Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
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In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
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I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize