I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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