We're like a lot better than the average bears
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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