I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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