nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
