Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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