if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize
