before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Mom said you looked used
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.