You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Sext me about skeletons
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
