god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Soap is not a condiment
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
These tits shall not be calmed
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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