he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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