garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
