And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You smell like stripper and shame
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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