I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
