it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
