Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
