So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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