she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
