Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
