Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
