never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Welp...herpes.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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