Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
