So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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