Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So much Jack, so little girl.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
