I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
