I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
