How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
