you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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