I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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