He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
