went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
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I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
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I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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