You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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