There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You may now shotgun with the bride
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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