one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
