was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
