P.S. I can't hear my feet
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
