I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
