We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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