If you die in college, do you die in real life?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
