he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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