it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
