i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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