Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
