So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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