He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
