how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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