I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
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It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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