So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
