Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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