She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
