So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Im part way to drunk.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
