he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize