There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
