i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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