yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
