Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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