My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
