guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
