NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
