Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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