HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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