Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize