I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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