im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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