hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
