Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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