I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
