You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
