Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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