So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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