it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
