I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
